How to be a Millionaire

TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR MONEY What does it take to become a millionaire?
Question: What does it take to be a millionaire? With my modest income, it seems a near impossible dream for me. I can't imagine being able to save up enough money to be one. – Lisa S.

Answer: These days, the day time and prime time game shows on TV are raking in the audience and the advertising support — 1 vs. 100, All-Star K!, Gobingo, Pilipinas Game K N B?, Singing Bee, Wheel of Fortune, etc. Filipinos are tickled pink at the thought of taking a chance at becoming a millionaire in one day.

Lotto outlets also get long queues when there’s an upcoming super lotto draw. People, from the low-income to the middle-income classes, are lining up in hopes of winning the elusive jackpot.
But the chances of winning in game shows and lotto draws are very slim. Instead of dreaming about becoming a millionaire through these schemes, choose to work on becoming a millionaire yourself. No, Lisa, it’s not too far out to dream of becoming one.

Look around you. There may be millionaires you already know living in your neighborhood or going to the same office as you do. These are the people who live in their own homes with their own cars, whose assets total more than P1 million. Whether or not they feel like millionaires is up to them. But the crucial factor is that they have built up an asset base valued at over P1 million. It is an attainable goal.There are the really rich and visible millionaires who are business taipans. When you read their life stories, you’ll be struck with the fact that some of them were born poor. If they made it from rags to riches, there’s no reason why you can’t try.To reach that goal, you have to learn the secrets of millionaires. Here they are:

1. Treat money as something to save and invest. The minute you receive your paycheck or a windfall (example, an inheritance or a bonus), think of how much you can put away as savings. Then look for venues where you can invest your money. If you think this way, you won’t be tempted to splurge money. Some people splurge their retirement pay on BMWs or Mercedes Benzes. But when they get really sick, they find themselves with not enough cash to pay the hospital. So save more, rather than spend more.

2. Assume some risk when investing. When you play safe in investing, you’ll get safe (but low) returns as well. Millionaires have gone out on a limb putting up businesses which they hoped would earn — nothing is guaranteed. But it is in taking calculated risks that they are rewarded.
When investing, look at higher-yielding investments. Sure, they may be more risky than regular ones (such as savings and time deposits), but you may earn more in the long run. Just be wary of get-rich-quick investment schemes. Remember the adage: If it is too good to be true, it is.

3. Live simply. If you keep your cost of living low, you will have more cash to save and invest. Some millionaires have lived in the same homes they have had for the past 30-40 years. Or they live in the homes they inherited. You can also take a cue from the way millionaires live: not all party every night, nor do they buy every new car model that’s released. Instead, you’ll find these millionaires working at their desks at 8 a.m. and having just two cars in the garage.

4. Have a goal. Don’t just dream; set financial goals for yourself. By being specific, you will be more motivated to reach your goal. For instance, make it your goal to have your own home by the time you are 35 or 40. It may be a studio condo unit or a three-bedroom home in a subdivision—it will depend on your income and how you save over the years. Having a goal will help you focus your efforts well.

5. Choose good debt over bad debt. Take out a loan only when the loan proceeds will be used to earn you more money. For instance, apply for a bank loan to expand a business that’s feasible. But to take out a loan to buy assets that depreciate quickly (examples: sports cars, yachts, etc.) may not be wise as these assets will not earn you enough to pay off the loan. If you really want to buy such assets, pay in cash so you don’t have to pay the cost of borrowing.

6. Share your blessings. There seems to be a unique mathematical formula at work: The more you give, the more you are blessed back in return. Help those who are in financial need, and you may find yourself blessed all the more. If you’re an employer, share profits with your employees; they’ll be more motivated to work for you, leading the way to increased productivity.

7. Train children to handle money well. It would be sad if money you earned will just be spent unwisely by the next generation. Teach children the basics of money management, and caution them against vices such as gambling, drugs, and the like. Being responsible about wealth will be rewarded in the long run.

Talk about extravagant!

This diamond covered Benz SL 600 is Saudi Prince Waleed's 38th car! The price of the car is US$4,800,000. Though the majority of people can't afford it, if you are a fanatic car fan, you can touch this royal car by paying a premium of US$1000.

''WHO WAS YOUR LAST?" (Repost)

Rule #1:
If you open this you GOTTA take it.

Rule # 2:
You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages you and asks

Rule #3:
Only answer True or False

Q: Kissed more than one person on your top friends? FALSE

Q: Kissed someone you didn't like? TRUE

Q: You like someone? TRUE

Q: Held a snake? FALSE
Q: Been suspended from school? FALSE
Q: Kissed in the rain? TRUE
Q: Sang in the shower? TRUE
Q: Sat on a roof top? TRUE
Q: Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? TRUE
Q: Broken a bone? TRUE
Q: Shaved your head? FALSE
Q: Played a prank on someone? TRUE
Q: Had/have a gym membership? TRUE
Q: Donated Blood? FALSE
Q: Had your heart broken? TRUE
Q: Broken someone's heart? TRUE

"Who was your last?"
just be 100% truthful
LAST PERSON.

1. You hung out with? MY SISTER GRACE
2. last person you texted? LUCIEN
3. last person you slept next to? MY SISTER GRACE
4. Went to the movies with? MY SISTER GRACE
5. Went to the mall with? MY SISTER GRACE
6. You talked to on the phone? MY MOM
7. Made you laugh? KWENG
8. You hugged? MARGO
9. you kissed? Secret... Sa amin na lang yun
10. Made you cry? Someone from the past... now onboard a cruise ship

WOULD YOU RATHER...

1. Be serious or be funny? FUNNY
2. Drink whole or skim milk? SKIM
3. Die in a fire or get shot? GET SHOT

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY...

1. Sun or moon? MOON
2. dark or light chocolate? LIGHT
3. left or right? RIGHT
4. Sunny or rainy? SUNNY
5. Hugs or kisses? KISSES
6. Where do you live? VALENZUELA CITY
7. Rock or Techno? TECHNO
8. Do you want to get married? MAYBE
9. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? TWIRL
10. Do You cook? YES
11. Current mood? SLEEPY

IN THE LAST 72 HOURS HAVE YOU...

1. Kissed someone? NO
2. Sang? YES
3. Been hugged? NO
4. Liked someone you can't have? NO

Repost this as, ''WHO WAS YOUR LAST?"

How to control the price of Oil - Interesting

THIS IS NOT THE 'DON'T BUY' GAS FOR ONE DAY, BUT IT WILL SHOW YOU HOW WE CAN GET GAS BACK DOWN TO P30.00 PER LITER.

This was sent by a retired Coca Cola executive. It came from one of his engineer buddies who retired from Halliburton. If you are tired of the gas prices going up AND they will continue to rise this summer, take time to read this please.

Phillip Hollsworth offered this good idea.
This makes MUCH MORE SENSE than the "don't buy gas on a certain day" campaign that was going around last April or May!
It's worth your consideration. Join the resistance!! !!

I hear we are going to hit close to P60.00 a LITER by next summer and it might go higher!! Want gasoline prices to come down?

We need to take some intelligent, united action. The oil companies just laughed at that because they knew we wouldn't continue to "hurt" ourselves by refusing to buy gas.

It was more of an inconvenience to us than it was a problem for them.
BUT, whoever thought of this idea, has come up with a plan that can Really work. Please read on and join with us!

By now you're probably thinking gasoline priced at about P30.00 is super cheap. Me too! It is currently P45.00/liter for regular unleaded in my town.

Now that the oil companies and the OPEC nations have conditioned us to think that the cost of a gallon of gas is CHEAP at P30 - P35/liter, we need to take aggressive action to teach them that BUYERS control the marketplace...not sellers.

With the price of gasoline going up more each day, we consumers need to take action.

The only way we are going to see the price of gas come down is if we hit someone in the pocketbook by not purchasing their gas! And, we can do that WITHOUT hurting ourselves.

How? Since we all rely on our cars, we can't just stop buying gas.

But we CAN have an impact on gas prices if we all act together to force a price war.

Here's the idea: For the rest of this year, DON'T purchase ANY gasoline from the two biggest companies SHELL and CALTEX.

If they are not selling any gas, they will be inclined to reduce their prices. If they reduce their prices, the other companies will have to follow suit.

But to have an impact, we need to reach literally millions of SHELL and CALTEX gas buyers. It's really simple to do! Now, don't wimp out on me at this point...keep reading and I'll explain how simple it is to reach millions of people!!

I am sending this note to 30 people. If each of us send it to at least ten more (30 x 10 = 300) .. and those 300 send it to at least ten more (300 x 10 = 3,000)...and so on, by the time the message reaches the sixth group of people, we will have reached over THREE MILLION consumers.
If those three million get excited and pass this on to ten friends each, then 30 million people will have been contacted!

If it goes one level further, you guessed it..... THREE HUNDRED MILLION PEOPLE!!!

Again, all you have to do is send this to 10 people. That's all!

(If you don't understand how we can reach 300 million and all you have to do is send this to 10 people....&n bsp; trust me on this one.

How long would all that take? If each of us sends this e-mail out to ten more people within one day of receipt, all 300 MILLION people could conceivably be contacted within the next 8 days!!!

I'll bet you didn't think you and I had that much potential, did you!
Acting together we can make a difference.

If this makes sense to you, please pass this message on. I suggest that we not buy from SHELL/CALTEX UNTIL THEY LOWER THEIR PRICES TO THE P30.00 RANGE AND KEEP THEM DOWN. THIS CAN REALLY WORK.

Keep it going

More about me...

Recent Jobs

Team Case Manager
International Host / Entertainment Staff
Marketing and Sales Exec

Three movies I would watch over and over:

Matrix
Harry Potter
LOTR

Three people who e-mail me regularly:

Ryan Dela Cruz
Des Villavieja
Stela Dalida


Three of my favorite foods:

Seafoods (ANY)
Siomai
Kare-Kare

Three places I have lived:

Eastwood City, QC
Makati City
Singapore

Three shows that I watch:

Gossipgirl
American Idol
Avatar the last Airbender

Three places I have been:

Malaysia (Penang, KL, Langkawi)
Thailand (Bangkok, Phuket, Ko samui, etc.)
Singapore

Three places I'd rather be right now:

At home
Bali, Indonesia
California at my Aunt Elsa's

Three friends I think will repost this on Multiply:

Ron Ramiro
Kris Nuevo
April Parido

Three things I am looking forward to this year: (not in any particular order)

More travels
Buy my own car
Start up a business

I fell from the Weeping Willow tree

WHAT TREE DID YOU FALL FROM?

Find your birthday and then find your tree. This is cool and pretty accurate. Send it to your friends, including the one that sent it to you, so they can find out what tree you fell from, but do not forget to change the subject line to your tree. Find you r tr ee below and see what you are like ..

Dec 23 to Jan 01 - Apple Tree

Jan 01 to Jan 11 - Fir Tree

Jan 12 to Jan 24 - Elm Tree

Jan 25 to Feb 03 - Cypress Tree

Feb 04 to Feb 08 - Poplar Tree

Feb 09 to Feb 18 - Cedar Tree

Feb 19 to Feb 28 - Pine Tree

Mar 01 to Mar 10 - Weeping Willow Tree

Mar 11 to Mar 20 - Lime Tree

Mar 21 (only) - Oak Tree

Mar 22 to Mar 31 - Hazelnut Tree

Apr 01 to Apr 10 - Rowan Tree

Apr 11 to Apr 20 - Maple Tree

Apr 21 to Apr 30 - Walnut Tree

May 01 to May 14 - Poplar Tree

May 15 to May 24 - Chestnut Tree

May 25 to Jun 03 - Ash Tree

Jun 04 to Jun 13 - Hornbeam Tree

Jun 14 to Jun 23 - Fig Tree

Jun 24 (only) - Birch Tree

Jun 25 to Jul 04 - Apple Tree

Jul 05 to Jul 14 - Fir Tree

Jul 15 to Jul 25 - Elm Tree

Jul 26 to Aug 04 - Cypress Tree

Aug 05 to Aug 13 - Poplar Tree

Aug 14 to Aug 23 - Cedar Tree

Aug 24 to Sep 01 - Pine Tree

Sep 02 to Sep 12 - Weeping Willow Tree

Sep 13 to Sep 22 - Lime Tree

Sep 23 (only) - Olive Tree

Sep 24 to Oct 03 - Hazelnut Tree

Oct 04 to Oct 13 - Rowan Tree

Oct 14 to Oct 23 - Maple Tree

Oct 24 to Nov 11 - Walnut Tree

Nov 12 to Nov 21 - Chestnut Tree

Nov 22 to Dec 01 - Ash Tree

Dec 02 to Dec 11 - Hornbeam Tree

Dec 12 to Dec 21 - Fig Tree

Dec 22 (only) - Beech Tree

TREES (in alphabetical order)

Apple Tree (Love) -- quiet and shy at times, lots of charm, appeal, And attraction, pleasant attitude, flirtatious smile, adventurous, sensitive, loyal in love, wants to love and be loved, faithful and tender partner, very generous, many talents, loves children, needs affectionate partner.

Ash Tree (Ambition) -- extremely attractive, vivacious, impulsive, demanding, does not care for criticism, ambitious, intelligent, talented, likes to play with fate, can be very egotistic, reliable, restless lover, sometimes money rules over the heart, demands attention, needs love and much emotional support.

Beech Tree (Creative) -- has good taste, concerned about its looks, materialistic, good organization of life and career, economical, good leader, takes no unnecessary risks, reasonable, splendid lifetime companion, keen on keeping fit (diets, sports, etc.).

Birch Tree (Inspiration) -- vivacious, attractive, elegant, friendly, unpretentious, modest, does not like anything in excess, abhors the vulgar, loves life in nature and in calm, not very passionate, full of imagination, little ambition, creates a calm and content atmosphere.

Cedar Tree (Confidence ) -- of rare strength, knows how to adapt, Likes unexpected presents, of good health, not in the least shy, tends to look down on others, self-confident, a great speaker, determined, often impatient, likes to impress others, has many talents, industrious, healthy optimism, waits for the one true love, able to make quick decisions.

Chestnut Tree (Honesty) -- of unusual stature, impressive, well-developed sense of justice, fun to be around, a planner, born diplomat, can be irritated easily, sensitive of others feelings, hard worker, sometimes acts superior, feels not understood at times, fiercely family oriented, very loyal in love, physically fit.

Cypress Tree (Faithfulness) -- strong, muscular, adaptable, takes What life has to give but doesn't necessarily like it, strives to be content, optimistic, wants to be financially in dependent, wants love and affection, hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot be satisfied, faithful, quick-tempered at times, can be unruly and careless, loves to gain knowledge, needs to be needed.

Elm Tree (Noble-mindedness ) -- pleasant shape, tasteful clothes, m odest demands, tends not to forgive mistakes, cheerful, likes to lead but n ot to obey, honest and faithful partner, likes making decisions for others, noble-minded, generous, good sense of humor, practical.

Fig Tree (Sensibility ) -- very strong minded, a bit self-willed, honest, loyal, independent, hates contradiction or arguments, hard worker when wants to be, loves life and friends, enjoys children and animals, sexually oriented, great sense of humor, has artistic talent and great intelligence.

Fir tree (Mysterious ) -- extraordinary taste, handles stress well, loves anything beautiful, stubborn, tends to care for those close to them, hard to trust others, yet a social butterfly, likes idleness and laziness after long demanding hours at work, rather modest, talented, unselfish, many friends, very reliable.

Hazelnut Tree (Extraordinary ) -- charming, sense of humor, very demanding but can also be very understanding, knows how to make a lasting impression, active fighter for social causes and politics, popular, quite moody, sexually oriented, honest, a perfectionist, has a precise sense of judgment and expects complete fairness.

Hornbeam Tree (Good Taste) -- of cool beauty, cares for its looks and condition, good taste, is not egoistic, makes life as comfortable as possible, leads a reasonable and disciplined life, looks for kindness and acknowledgment in an emotional partner, dreams of unusual lovers, is seldom happy with its feelings, mistrusts most people, is never sure of its decisions, very conscientious.

Lime Tree (Doubt) - intelligent, hard working, accepts what life dishes out, but not before trying to change bad circumstances into good ones, hates fighting and stress, enjoys getaway vacations, may appear tough, but is actually soft and relenting, always willing to make sacrifices for family and friends, has many talents but not always enough time to use them, great leadership qualities, is jealous at times but extremely loyal.

Maple Tree (Independence of Mind ) -- no ordinary person, full of imagination and originality, shy and reserved, ambitious, proud, self-confident, hungers for new experiences, sometimes nervous, has many complexities, good memory, learns easily, complicated love life, wants to impress.

Oak Tree (Brave) -- robust nature, courageous, strong, unrelenting, independent, sensible, does not like change, keeps its feet on the ground, person of action.

Olive Tree (Wisdom) -- loves sun, warmth and kind feelings, reasonable, balanced, avoids aggression and violence, tolerant, cheerful, calm, well-developed sense of justice, sensitive, empathetic, free of jealousy, loves to read and the company of sophisticated people.

Pine Tree (Peacemaker) -- loves agreeable company, craves peace and harmony, loves to help others, active imagination, likes to write poetry, not fashion conscious, great compassion, friendly to all, falls strongly in love but will leave if betrayed or lied to, emotionally soft, low self-esteem, needs affection and reassurance.

Poplar Tree (Uncertainty) -- looks very decorative, talented, not very self-confident, extremely courageous if necessary, needs goodwill and pleasant surroundings, very choosy, often lonely, great animosity, great artistic nature, good organizer, tends to lean toward philosophy, reliable in any situation, takes partnership seriously.

Rowan Tree (Sensitivity) -- full of charm, cheerful, gifted without egoism, likes to draw attention, loves life, motion, un rest, and even complications, is both dependent and independent, good taste, artistic, passionate, emotional, good company, does not forgive.

Walnut Tree (Passion) -- unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts, often egotistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility, difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate, no compromise.

Weeping Willow (Melancholy) - likes to be stress free, loves family life, full of hopes and dreams, attractive, very empathetic, loves anything beautiful, musically inclined, loves to travel to exotic places, restless, capricious, honest, can be influenced but is not easy to live with when pressured, sometimes demanding, good intuition, suffers in love until they find that one loyal, steadfast partner; loves to make others laugh.

Lost my Globe Phone

I still have most of your numbers but if you don't have my SUN number (which I'll use from now on) message me here.

Mga PICK UP Lines

1. Minamalat na naman ang puso ko..
*** paano kasi, laging sinisigaw ang pangalan mo..

2. Ikaw ba may-ari ng Crayola??
*** ikaw kasi nagbibigay ng kulay sa buhay ko..

3. Uy picture tayo!!
*** para ma-develop tayo!!

4. Kung ikaw ay bola at ako ang player, mashushoot
ba kita??
*** hinde, para lagi kita mamimiss..

5. Can i take your picture??
*** coz i want to show Santa exactly what i want for
christmas!!

6. Exam ka ba??
*** gustong gusto na kasi kitang i-take home eh!!

7. Lecture mo ba ako??
*** lab kasi kita..

8. Centrum ka ba??
*** kasi you make my life complete!!

9. Miss pwede ba kita maging driver??
*** para ikaw na magpapatakbo ng buhay ko..

10. Mahilig ka ba sa asukal??
*** ang tamis kasi ng mga ngiti mo..

11. Pinaglihi ka ba sa keyboard??
*** kasi type kita..

12. I hate to say this but... You are like my
underwear..
*** coz i can't last a day without you!!

13. Ibibili kita ng salbabida..
*** kasi malulunod ka sa pagmamahal ko..

14. Pwede ba kitang maging sidecar??
*** single kasi ako eh..

15.Me lisensya ka ba??
*** coz you're driving me crazy eh..

16. May kilala ka bang gumagawa ng relo?
*** may sira ata relo ko.. pag ikaw kasi kasama ko,
humihinto ang oras ko..

17. Grabe nakakatawa yung mga pick-up lines noh??
hahaha! May alam ka pa bang iba?? Wala na akong
maisip eh..
*** coz all i ever think of is you..

18. I'm a bee..
*** can you be my honey??

19. Nakakatakot diba ang multo??
*** pero mas nakakatakot kapag nawala ka sa buhay
ko..

20. Am i a bad shooter??
*** coz i keep on missing you..

21. May lahi ka bang aswang??
*** ang pangit mo kasi eh..

22. Naniniwala ka ba sa love at first sight??
*** O gusto mong dumaan ulit ako??

23. Mabilis ka siguro sa mga puzzle noh??
*** kasi kakasimula pa lang ng araw ko, pero nabuo
mo na agad..

24. Excuse me.. Are you a dictionary??
*** because you give meaning to my life..

25. Bangin ka ba??
*** nahuhulog kasi ako sa'yo..

26. Pustiso ka ba??
*** kasi, can't smile without you..

27. Pagod na pagod ka na noh??
*** maghapon at magdamag kana kasing tumatakbo sa
isipan ko eh..

28. Me butas ba puso mo??
*** kasi natrap na ako sa loob, can't find my way
out!!

29. Anung height mo??
*** ha?? pano ka nagkasya sa loob ng puso ko..

30. Hey, did you fart??
*** coz you blew me away!!

31. Sana "T" na lang ako..
*** para i'm always right next to "U"

32. Are you Jamaican??
*** kasi Ja-maican me crazy!!

33. Nde tayo tao..Nde tayo hayop.BAGAY tayo.BAGAY
tlga tayo.

34. Ako ay isang exam.kaya sagutin mo na ako...

Cna yuo raed tihs?

Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 56 plepoe out
of 100 can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod
aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was
rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the
hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch
at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't
mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a
wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is
taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in
the rghit pclae. The rset can be a
taotl mses and you can sitll raed it
whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the
huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter
by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot
slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can
raed tihs forwrad it

Joke Time!

NARS: doc, bat tinanggihan nyo yung pasyente?
DR: alin, yung bakla?
NARS: opo. Baka sabihin namimili tayo, porket bading siya.
DR: ano naman raraspahin ko sa kanya?

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things you don't want to hear during your own surgery:
-san yung gunting na bago? Bat may kalawang to?
-10ml? may nakasurvive na ba dyan? Sabi ko 5ml lang!
-doc, ubos na po pala yung anesthesia.
-kanina pa bukas yung tiyan, asan yung pantahi?
-sunog! Sunog! Labas lahat!

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inspiring quote of the day:
"hindi ako tamad. Hindi ko lang alam kung saan ko ibubuhos kasipagan ko."

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'dear te, dear te, dear te!!!'
-sigaw ni Anabel Rama kay Lorin at Veniz (mga anak ni Rofa) habang naglalaro ng tubig sa kanal.

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MRS: hon, am I pretty or ugly?
MR: uhm.. both..
MRS: anong both? Pwedeng pretty and ugly?
MR: ang ibig ko sabihin, you're pretty ugly.

=========

TEACHER: okay class our lesson for today is science. What is science?
PEDRO: ako ma'am! Ako ma'am!
TEACHER: okay Pedro, what is science?
PEDRO: science is our lesson for today.

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AMO: inday, paalisin mo nga yung pulubi sa labas ng bahay.
(nilabas ni Inday)
INDAY: off you go! Under no circumstance this house would relent to such unabashed display of vagrant destitution!
PULUBI: oh! I'm so ashamed! Such a mansion of social climbing freaks!
(nakakuha na ng katapat si Inday!)

=========

BOB: nakakamagkano ka sa 1 araw?
PULUBI: nag-uumpisa kasi ako ng 8am. Ngayon 9am na. naka 80 na ko.
BOB: hindi din masama noh? Ano mabibili mo niyan?
PULUBI: pwede na tong isang espresso macchiato sa starbucks!

=========

DOC: umubo ka!
PEDRO: ho! Ho! Ho!
DOC: ubo pa!
PEDRO: ho! Ho! Ho!
DOC: okay.
PEDRO: ano po ba sakit ko doc?
DOC: may ubo ka.

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Why God invented menopause:
Once upon a time, a 70 year old woman gave birth.
BISITA: pwedeng makita ang baby mo?
MOM: mamaya na.
30 minutes after.
BISITA: pwede na bang makita?
MOM: oo, pero hintay muna tayo na umiyak kasi nakalimutan ko kung saan ko linagay.

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in a miss gay pageant:
HOST: how can we uplift our economy today even though we are under economic crisis?
BAKLA: (namutla) mga bakla! Akala ko ba miss gay ito? Quizbee pala!

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Sexy girl nagkukumpisal:
PARI: iha, ano ang iyong ikukumpisal?
SEXY: father, pag nakakarinig po ako ng lalaking nagmumura di ko mapigilan sarili ko na yayain siya magsex!
PARI: 'tang ina! Di nga?

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TEACHER: ano ang pambansang ibon?
BOY: chicken?
TEACHER: hindi! kulay brown ito!
BOY: fried chicken!
TEACHER: hindi! mas maliit ito sa chicken.
BOY: knorr chicken cubes!
TEACHER: get out!

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The Philippine presidents flying in a plane.
GMA: what if I throw a check for a million pesos out the window to make at least 1 Filipino happy?
CORY: but my dear, why don't you throw 2 checks for half a million each and thus make 2 Filipinos happy?
RAMOS: why not throw four checks for a quarter of a million each and make four Filipinos happy?
And on it went until finally, Erap blurts out:
"but madam president, why not simply throw yourself out of the window and make all the Filipinos happy?"

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a great example of globalization: princess Diana, a Welsh princess with an Egyptian fiancé, crashed in a French tunnel while riding in a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky, chased by Italian paparazzis on Japanese big bikes. An American doctor tried to save them using Brazilian meds. This message was made by a Filipino on a Finnish Nokia phone smuggled from China by a Pakistani based in Quiapo.

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1. Trulalu.
2. eklavu
3. eklavu.
4. trulalu
5. eklavu
6. trulalu
7. trulalu.
8. eklavu
9. trulalu
10. trulalu
-batang bading nagsasagot ng true or false na quiz.

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MEKANIKO: sir, hindi ko po naayos preno ng kotse niyo.
CUSTOMER: ha?! Pano yan?
MEKANIKO: nilakasan ko na lang po ang inyong busina! Happy trip na lang po!

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kung nag GAY LANGUAGE sana sila GMA at GARCI eh di walang SCAM!


GMA: hallow gracia!
GARCI: uy mother ever! Na chenilyn de kimberlyn ko na po yung mga chuva eke k.
GMA: bonggacious! Eh yung mga chenes chenes, carry na ba?
GARCI: flatshoes! Winnie santos mama, wiz na wori eclavou na ever! Na chorva na!
GMA: ang tarushki! Maldita ka talaga vruha ka! Eh di windra na naman watashi?!
GARCI: anufi ate.
GMA: oshah ba.

============

Divorced father: anak pag-uwi mo bigay mo sa nanay mo itong cheke at sabihin mo 18 yrs old ka na, huling cheke na makukuha niya for child support tapos tignan mo kung ano ang expression ng face niya.
Anak: mom, sabi ni dad bigay ko daw sayo itong cheke, last support na niya ito sakin kasi 18 na ako. Pagkatapos tignan ko daw expression ng face mo.
Mom: sa susunod na pagbisita mo sa kanya paki sabi salamat sa suporta kahit di mo siya tatay! Pagkatapos tignan mo expression ng face niya!

============

BOY: dad, tulong naman sa assignment ko. Find the least common denominator daw.
DAD: ha? aba'y elementary pa lang ako eh hinahanap na nila yan ah! Aba'y di pa ba nila nakikita?

============

Anong sabi ng centipede nung may nakasalubong siyang isang centipede?
"uy pare. Apir!apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!.... ......

============

BOY1: nkakakaawa naman lola mo.
BOY2: bakit?
BOY1: nakasabay ko kasi magsimba nung isang araw, ubo ng ubo. Pinagtitinginan nga ng tao.
BOY2: papansin lang yun!
BOY1: bakit?
BOY2: bago kasi blouse niya!

============

a boss confused about his Math asked his secretary:
If I give you P3M less 17%, how much would you take off?
SECRETARY: everything sir! Dress, bra, panty!

============

TEACHER: mga bata, alam niyo ba na ang bawat butil ng palay ay galing sa dugo't pawis ng mga magsasaka?
MGA BATA: eeewwww!

============

BOY: is this your first time?
GIRL: (angrily) oo naman noh. You guys talaga. So kuleeet! Always asking me the same question. Paulit-ulit. Hmp!

============

magsyota sa motel.
BF: alam mo love, ikaw ang first girl na dinala ko dito.
GF: sinungaling. Sabi nila lagi ka dito!
BF: oo, pero ikaw lang talaga ang girl!

============

STUDENT: ma'am, pagagalitan niyo po ba ako sa bagay na hindi ko naman ginawa?
TEACHER: natural hindi.
STUDENT: good, di ko po ginawa assignment ko!

============

PARI: halika sa sulok
MADRE: bakit po?
PARI: sara mo pinto.
MADRE: wag po!
PARI: patayin mo ilaw!
MADRE: diyos ko po!
PARI: tamo rosary ko. Glow in the dark!

============

why was white chocolate invented? So little black kids could have dirty faces too!

============

isang araw sa may tindahan.
PULUBI: palimos po.
TINDERO: wala po, patawad.
PULUBI: sige na po, kahit magkano.
TINDERO: sya sige! Eto, dos.
PULUBI: salamat po ng marami. Isang Malboro nga po, yung menthol.

============

TITSER: bat ka na-late?
EDWARD: nawalan ho kasi ng 500 yung lalaki.
TITSER: tinulungan mo siyang maghanap?
EDWARD: hindi po, tinapakan ko lang hanggang umalis siya.

============

sa kasalan
PARI: sana ang donation mo ay katumbas ng ganda ng pakakasalan mo.
GROOM: eto P5, father.
Tinignan ng pari ang bride.
PARI: eto P4 sukli mo iho.

============

sabi nung friend ko, nakakalaki daw ng tiyan ang beer. Kasi noon minsan nalasing siya, nabuntis siya!

============

a thirsty city girl went to a barrio
GIRL: where galling your water manong?
MATANDA: sa ilog ineng.
GIRL: ha? You drink that water manong?
MATANDA: duhhh! Why, sa syudad ba chine-chew?

============ =

DEATH of MR.BEAN'S MOTHER
Mr Bean: (crying) the doctor just called up, my mom's dead.
Friend: condolence, my friend.
(after 2 minutes, Mr. Bean cries even louder.)
Friend: what now, Mr. Bean?
Mr Bean: my sister just called. Her mom died too.

============ =

NOEL: ipapangalan ko sa aking anak " LEON " baliktad ng Noel.
NINO: sa akin ONIN baliktad ng NINO.
TOTO: wag niyo akong maisali-sali dyan sa usapan niyo!

============ =

Sinoli ni Erap ang libro sa library.
ERAP: sobrang dami ng characters wala naman storya.
LIBRARIAN: kayo pala kumuha ng telephone directory namin!

============ =

JAIME ZOBEL DE AYALA: 1/2 Pinoy, 1/2 Spanish.
HENRY SY: 1/2 Pinoy, 1/2 Chinese.
LITO ATIENZA: 1/2 Hawaiian, 1/2 Polo.
MIKE ARROYO: 1/2 Pinoy, 1/2 pork.
JOHN OSMENA: 1/2 Pinoy, 1/2 Pinay.
PROSPERO PICHAY: 1/2 Unggoy, 1/2 gulay.
GMA: 1/2 ... only.

============ ==

MR: hon promise simula ngayon, iiwan ko na ang mga kabit ko.
MRS: wow. Thank you love. Ako naman, I promise, ang susunod nating anak, ikaw na ang ama. Promise talaga.

============ ==

NUN: mother! I was raped. What shall I do?
Mother SUPERIOR: here, take this calamansi.
NUN: will this ease the pain?
Mother SUPERIOR: sipsipin mo! Nang mawala ngiti sa mukha mo, gaga!

============ ==


SA OSPITAL.....

WIFE: hon, nahirapan ako huminga.
HUSBAND: kung nahirapan ka ng huminga, itigil mo na.

============ ==

ATE: pabili ng pilis.
TINDERA: ano po?
A: pilis po!
T: ha? Dilis?
A: pilis po.
T: ano? Philip?
A: pilis nga! Yung nudols.

============ ==

sa sabungan, walang entrance fee ang may dalang panabong. Si Juan para makalibre pumasok may dalang inahin.
BANTAY: [sinita si Juan] ano yan?
JUAN: [galit pa!] manok!
BANTAY: alam ko, eh bakit inahin?
JUAN: may laban ang mister niya, siyempre moral support bobo!

============ ==

sa loob ng mall....
GUY: love, yan ang dati kong girlfriend.
JOWA: ang pangit pangit naman!
GUY: wala akong magagawa, yan talaga ang weakness ko ever since.

============ ==

GF: magaling! At sino tong baby na nagtext sayo?
BF: ah eh kumpare ko yun! Lalake yun! Baby lang palayaw.
GF: oh eto replyan mo. Hindi daw kayo tuloy at may mens daw ang [expletive deleted]!

============ ==

INA: anak, tawagan mo nga tatay mo sa celfon. Pauwiin mo dito.
[pagkatapos tawagan.]
ANAK: nay, babae po ang sumagot.
INA: lintik, sinasabi ko na nga ba, may tinatago yang tatay mo eh! Anong sabi?
ANAK: 'you only have zero pesos in your account...' hindi ko na tinapos nay mukhang matapobre.

============ ==

nagbubungkal ng lupa si Erap para magtanim. Akala ng nakakita niloloko lang siya dahil wala naman siyang tinatanim.
BANTAY: sir, wala naman kayong tinatanim ah.
ERAP: bobo! Seedless to!

============ ==

ANAK: nay, ano po ba yung 10 commandments?
NANAY: yun yung sampung utos ng Diyos.
ANAK: mas makapangyarihan pa po pala kayo sa Diyos eh!
NANAY: bakit?
ANAK: ang dami niyong utos eh!

============ ==

thought to ponder:
hindi kaya ang dahilan ng pagbaha sa panahon ni Noah ay pinutol niya lahat ng puno para gumawa ng napaka laking arko? ano sa tingin mo?

============ ==

PEDRO: niloko ko yung tindera kanina.
JUAN: paano mo naman niloko yung tindera?
PEDRO: nagpaload ako eh wala naman akong celfon.

============ ==

paramihan ng anak.
HAPONESA: pumasok, bitbit 10 anak.
(palakpakan)
AMERIKANA: pumasok, bitbit 20 anak.
(palakpakan)
PINAY: pumasok, sigawan ang audience! "GO NAY!!"

============ ===

may nakakita sakin sa dalampasigan. malungkot at nagiisa. sabi niya, 'kung mahal mo siya, bakit di mo ipadama?' sumagot ako, 'mahal ka diyan?!!! naiwan ako sa outing tanga.'

============ ===

kung totoo ang ' Darwin 's theory of evolution' na ang tao ay nagmula sa unggoy, bakit may mga taong mukhang kabayo?

============ ===

DORAY: mare, kulang pa kami ng isang miyembro. baka gusto mong sumali sa paluwagan.
PINANG : hindi pa ako pwede, mare.
DORAY: bakit mare?
PINAY: virgin pa kasi ako.

============ ====

ERAP SA PIZZA HUT
WAITER: sir, do you want me to cut your pizza into 4 slices or 8 slices?
ERAP: into four na lang, masyadong marami yung eight. di ko mauubos.

============ ====

SALESGIRL: sir, you can't smoke here.
CUSTOMER: but I bought these cigars from your store.
SALESGIRL: we also sell condoms, but it doesn't mean you can f*ck here.

============ ====

summer job opportunities:
package 1:
-P5000/hour
-enchanted kingdom
-tagatulak ng anchor's away

package 2:
-P7000/day
-palengke
-tagalista ng noisy.

package 3:
-P800/minute
-star city
-tagahila ng roller coaster.

package 4:
-P900/minute.
-for females only.
- alaska milk.
-substitute sa baka.
oh pili na. mahirap maghanap ng trabaho.

============ ===

AMO: inday, kunin mo nga yung VOGUE magazine!
INDAY: mam, vogyu hindi vog.
AMO: inday, vog ang tamang pagbigkas.
INDAY: o sige na nga mam VOG na, there's no need to ARG.

============ ===

pano sasabihin sa isang girl na maitim ang kili-kili niya without hurting her feelings?
"ganda ng deodorant mo ha, kiwi?"

============ ===

what's worse than finding a worm in the apple you are eating? pag nakita mong kalahati na lang ang worm.

============ ===

Si Erap nakabasag ng vase sa Museum, yung attendant nataranta.
ATTENDANT: naku sir, more than 500 years old na po yang vase.
ERAP: hay salamat. Akala ko bago!

============ ===

Overheard from a girl na galit sa kararating na boyfriend sa starbucks:
GIRL: my God, you're so late. Where did you . . . where have you. . . where do you. . . san ka ba galing?

============ ===

ang tawag sa gumagawa ng tubo, tubero. Ang tawag sa kumukuha ng basura, basurero. Ang tawag sa mahilig sa gimik, gimikero. Sa maraming babae, babaero. Ang tawag sa nakaupo sa kanto.?


Tambay pare, tambay!

A smart guy!

I love this story! Very funny... Read on.

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.


FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.


Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'
I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... 'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.'

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy You?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

Inday Part 2

I believe that my trained skills and expertise in management with the use of standard tools and my discipline and experience will contribute significantly to the value of work that you want. My creativity, productivity, and work efficiency and the high quality of outcome I can offer will boost the work progress.
-Sagot ni Inday sa bago niyang amo

"I stay awake in the coldness of the darkened sky contemplating why, for some reasons, has my emptiness manifested, extending to that niche where I was given life and growth, that because of austerity I was made separate from..."
-Inday, hindi makatulog dahil nahohomesick

"I am solitary. I find it hard to succumb into slumber, though the downpour of rain should've made it easy. This exuberant emotional glue I have for you, cannot be simply washed away. The multiplicity of what I feel for you is inevitable. This isn't platonic. It's real, true romance."
-Inday, nageemote sa may bintana, habang iniisip si Dodong, ang boyfriend niya

"The statute restricts me to love you but you have the provocation. The way you smile is the proximate cause why I love you. We have some rules to think of. We have no vested rights to love each other because the upper household dismissed my petition!"
-Inday, nakipagbreak kay Dodong (driver ng kapitbahay)

"Dear Sir/Madam,

Attached herewith is a list of proposed acquisition in line with my proposal to upgrade your household facilities. I have already made an initial survey of current market prices. Note, however, that prices could vary depending on the prevailing exchange rate and aggregate supply and demand, which we also monitor on an hourly basis."
-Inday, nagpapaalam mamalengke

Amo: Inday bumili ka nga ng mga isda... ay teka, oo nga pla inglisira ka... Would you please purchase many fishes for this week's meals?
Inday: Judging from your statement I believe you meant a variety of fish. The term "fishes", although rarely and even erroneously used, connotes a plethora or an array of different kinds of the aforementioned gilled creatures. But the more pressing questions before I traverse the road to the wet market would be: What certain type of fish? Fillet or not? Frozen or just right smack the day's catch? (Pauses) Aaah... by manner of careful extrapolation, given the meager budget in this household's quasi-peasant middle class taste, I assume then I will source the staple "galewng-gowng" . Am I correct?
Amo: Leche!
Inday: You meant the freshwater milkfish? Then the "ba-ngooz" is it!

La vida no es una broma actualmente. El dinero es tan duro de pasar. Puede usted bajar el precio parci mi? Soy ya su compradora avido diario por favor?"
-Inday, tumatawad sa merkado ng isinama siya ng amo sa España

Drunken shrimp and blue lobster meat with caviar served with milagrosa rice (red variety) and apricot sauce; vegetables in balsamic vinegar splashed with extra virgin olive oil; lychee and peach salad with sour cream cheese topped with lemon zests
-Baon ni Junior sa daycare na inihanda ni Inday

Bloody hell!!! What the f*ck did just land on my cutie top? I mean I've spent all day just to make myself look fabulous. I think I'll have this eewy thing removed in a whip wham of time!"
-Reaction ni Inday nung natalsikan siya ng mantika habang nagluluto ng tilapia

Ipomea aquatica has become the constant ingredient to this Filipino delicacy which is very helpful in the digestion during the peristaltic process of the food we intake. Due to the continuous rains and floods, the harvest of the said vegetable has lessened the production in the market.
-Banat ni Inday kung bakit walang kangkong sa nilutong sinigang

Heavy fire that was exerted by the stimulus affect the best conductor of heat which is the steel, causing the "Oriza sativa" which is the scientific name of rice to change its state of color, smell, as well as the taste.
-Sagot ni Inday nang tanungin siya ng amo kung bakit nasunog ang sinaing

Off you go! Under no circumstance this house would relent to such unabashed display of vagrant destitution!
-Inday, pinapaalis ang makulit na pulubi sa gate

Allergens triggered the immune response. Eosinophilic migration occurs at the reaction site and release of chemotactic and anaphylotoxin including histamine and prostaglandins. These substances result to increase circulation to the site promoting redness.
-Sagot ni inday nung tanungin ni Sir kung bakit may rashes si Junior

Amo: Day! Bakit may bukol si Junior?
Inday: Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well engineered architectural design of our kitchen lavatory affected the boy's cranium with a slight boil at the left temple near the auditory organ.
Amo: (Di nakareact)

Dear Mom,

Had it not been for the smelling salt, I must have collapsed moments ago. Junior has become a little monster to me. Remember the head accident he had? As if it wasn't enough, he was summoned by the principal of his shabbily-run academe. Oh, such an erudite bunch
of baboons! I never thought that being a governess can be such a strenuous employ.
Your daughter,

Inday

Dear Inday,

Walanghiya ka! Magpadala ka ng pera! Nasa ospital
nanay mo, dumugo ang ilong kababasa ng pesteng sulat
mo!

Tatay

Amo: Bakit tuwing pag-uwi ko, nadadatnan kitang
nanunuod ng TV?
Inday: Because I don't want you to see me doing absolutely nothing!

Amo: Inday di ba nanood ka ng The Buzz kahapon? Bkit daw umalis si Angel Locsin sa GMA7?
Inday: Sometimes people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons, but because they just know that things will get worse if they'll stay. Leaving can be a tough act and it's harder when people can't understand you for doing so.

Physical stress and excessive work may result to serious damage to one's body. It is therefore essential that once in a while we take a break from our usual routine to replenish the lost energy we once had."
-Sabi ni Inday sa amo noong humingi siya ng day off

The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the increased amount of sodium affected the taste drastically and unfortunately, after several minutes of analytical thought, it seems that the situation has become irreversible. I do apologize. Utmost care will be taken next time.
-Nageexplain si Inday sa amo kung bakit maalat ung ulam na niluto niya

Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart that weakens the brain, causes the eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker!
-Si Inday, gumagawa ng blog niya sa friendster

A change in the weather patterns might have occured causing havoc to affected surroundings. The way debris are scattered indicates that the gust of wind is going northeast, causing damage to the path it is going.
-Sagot ni Inday sa amo nung tinanong kung bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay

Much as I want to indulge in the proliferation of such indecent and malicious information, I want to lift the stigma and alleviate society's perception of our profession.
-Inday, tumatangging makipagtsismisan sa katulong sa kabilang bahay

Amo: Inday, anong ginagamit mo sa katawan mo? Ang kinis mo kasi! Siguro gumagamit ka ng papaya o kaya kalamansi?
Inday: NO! ONLY BELO TOUCHES MY SKIN! Who touches yours?

Ederlyn: Walang hiya ka! Wala kang karapatang pantayan ako! Hayop ka! You're nothing but a second rate, trying hard, copycat!

Inday: Excusemoi? Me, a copycat?! Your mockery is so lame and your attempt at English is so predictable! Why don't you open your eyes to the fact that your glory days are over?! Your persistence to persuade people to come to a party that does not exists is simply ridiculous and cheaply constructed! It's beginning to get to my nerves! You and your petty schemes! No one undermined Inday's intellect, you low life bitch!

Nose Bleed!

Inday's been getting alot of exposure lately... to those who are not from the Philippines, Inday is a fictional character... a maid in manila who doesn't act like one. Here's her story taken from numerous sms / text messages being passed around.

Enjoy!

Dahil sa tindi ng kahirapan sa probinsya, namasukan si Inday bilang
katulong sa Maynila. Habang ini-interview ng amo?

Amo: Kelangan namin ng katulong para mag ayos ng bahay, magluto, maglaba, magplantsa, mamalengke, at magbantay ng mga bata. Kaya mo ba ang lahat ng ito?

Inday: I believe that my trained skills and expertise in management with the use of standard tools, and my discipline and experience will contribute significantly to the value of the work that you want. My creativity, productivity and work-efficiency and the high quality of outcomes I can offer will boost the work progress.

Amo: [nosebleed]


Nakaraan ang dalawang araw, umuwi ang amo, nakitang me bukol si junior.


Amo: Bakit me bukol si junior?

Inday: Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well engineered architectural design of our kitchen lavatory affected the boy's cranium with a slight boil at the left temple near the auditory organ.

Amo: [nosebleed ulit]


Kinagabihan, habang naghahapunan.

Amo: Bakit maalat ang ulam?

Inday: The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the increased amount of sodium chloride (NaCl) affected the taste drastically and those actions are irreversible. I do apologize.

Amo: [nosebleed na naman]

Donya: Bakit tuwing paguwi ko, nadadatnan kitang nanunuod ng tv?!

Inday: Because I don't want you to see me doing absolutely nothing.

Donya: [hinimatay]


Kinabukasan, sinamahan ni Inday si junior sa principal's office dahil di makapunta ang amo at donya.

Principal: Sinuntok ni junior ang kanyang kaklase.

Inday: It's absurd! It was never a fact that he will inflict a fight. I can only imagine how you handle schizophrenic kids on this educational institution. Revise your policies because they suck!

Principal: [nag resign]


Pag dating sa bahay, nandun na ang amo, galit na galit.

Amo: Inday, bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay?!

Inday: A change in the weather patterns might have occurred wrecking havoc to the surroundings. The way the debris are scattered indicates that the gust of wind was going northeast causing damage to the path it was heading for.

Amo: [nosebleed ulit]


Habang nagluluto si Inday ng hapunan, malikot si junior.

Inday: Stop your raucous behavior. It is bound to result in property damages and if that happens there will be corresponding punishment to be inflicted upon you!

Junior: [takbo sa CR, punasan ang nagdudugong ilong]



Pagkatapos magluto, nanood na ng TV si Inday. Nabalitaan nya umalis si Angel Locsin sa GMA 7.

Junior: Bakit kaya sya umalis?

Inday: Sometimes, people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons but because they just know that things will get worse if they'll stay. Leaving can be a tough act, and it's harder when people can't understand you for doing so.

Junior: [tuloy ang pagdugo ng ilong]


Nung gabing yon, me nag text ke Inday. Si Dodong, ang driver ng kapitbahay, gusto maki pag text-mate.

Inday: To forestall further hopes of acquaintance, my unfathomable statement to the denial of your request - Petition denied.


Di nagla-on, dahil sa tyaga ni Dodong, nagging syota nya rin si Inday. Pero di tumagal ang kanilang relasyon, at nakipag-break si Inday ke Dodong.

Inday: The statute restricts me to love you but you have the provocations. The way you smile is the proximate cause why I love you. We have some rules to think of. We have no vested rights to love each other because the upper household dismissed my petition!"

Dodong: Perhaps you are mistaken, what you seem to contrive as any affections for you are somewhat half-hearted. I was merely attempting to expand my network of interests by involving you in my daily recreation. Heretofor, you can expect an end to any verbal articulation from myself"


Me dumaan na mamang basurero, at narinig ang usapan ni Inday at Dodong.

Basurero (sabi ke Inday): Be careful in letting go of the things you thought are just nothing because maybe someday you'll realize that the one you gave away is the very thing you've been wishing for to stay.

Narinig ang lahat ng eto ng amo ni inday.

Amo: [nagpakamatay]

Funny!

Create Your Own PaloozaHead - Visit Lollapalooza.com

How Insane am I?

How INSaNe are you?
	54%
Moderately Insane - You are unexpectedly insane in small bursts but rational the rest of the time. You are terrifying.
'How Insane are You?' at QuizGalaxy.com

I...

Found this meme from mark's blog

I . . .
(X) smoked a cigarette
( ) crashed a friend's car
(X) got drunk with a good friend
( ) stolen a car
(X) been in love
(X) been dumped
(X) shoplifted
( ) been fired
(X) been in a fist fight
(X) snuck out of your parent's house

( ) been arrested
(X) gone on a blind date
(X) skipped school
(X) seen someone die (freaking scary)
( ) been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico
(X) been on a plane
( ) purposely set a part of yourself on fire
(X) eaten Sushi
( ) been skiing.. snowboarding

( ) been moshing at a concert
(X) taken painkillers
(X) love someone or miss someone right now
(X) lain on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
( ) made a snow angel
(X) flown a kite
(X) built a sand castle
( ) gone puddle jumping
(X) played dress up
( ) jumped into a pile of leaves
( ) gone sledding

(X) cheated while playing a game
(X) been lonely
(X) fallen asleep at work/school
( ) used a fake id
(X) watched the sun set
(X) felt an earthquake/tremor
(X) touched a snake
(X) slept beneath the stars
(X) been tickled
( ) been robbed
(X) been misunderstood

( ) pet a reindeer/goat
(X) won a contest
( ) run a red light
( ) been suspended from school
(X) been in a car crash
( ) had braces
(X) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(X) had deja vu
(X) danced in the moonlight
(X) liked the way you look
( ) witnessed a crime

(X) questioned your heart
( ) been obsessed with post-it notes
( ) squished barefoot through the mud
(X) been lost
( ) been to the opposite side of the country
(X) swum in the ocean
(X) felt like dying
(X) cried yourself to sleep
(X) played cops and robbers
( ) recently colored with crayons
(X) sung karaoke

(X) paid for a meal with only coins
(X) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(X) made prank phone calls
(X) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
( ) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(X) danced in the rain
(X) written a letter to Santa Claus
(X) been kissed under a mistletoe
(X) watched the sun rise with someone you care about
(X) blown bubbles
(X) made a bonfire on the beach

(X) crashed a party (alot of times...)
( ) gone roller-skating
(X) had a wish come true
(X) worn pearls (fake ones to a costume party)
( ) jumped off a bridge
( ) ate dog/cat food
(X) told a complete stranger you loved them (while working on a cruise ship)
(X) kissed a mirror
(X) sung in the shower
(X) had a dream that you married someone
(X) glued your hand to something

( ) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
( ) kissed a fish
(X) sat on a roof top
(X) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel
(X) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(X) stayed up all night
( ) didn't take a shower for a week
( ) pick and ate an apple right off the tree
( ) climbed a tree
( ) had a tree house
(X) are scared to watch scary movies alone

(X) believe in ghosts
( ) have more then 30 pairs of shoes
(X) worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say (funny!)
( ) gone streaking
( ) gone doorbell ditching
(X) played chicken
(X) jumped into a pool/hot tub/lake with all your clothes on (forced...)
(X) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
(X) broken a bone (Ouch!)
(X) been easily amused
(X) caught a fish then ate it (but I cooked it before eating it)

(X) caught a butterfly
(X) laughed so hard you cried
(X) cried so hard you laughed
(X) cheated on a test
( ) have a Britney Spears CD
(X) forgotten someone's name (happens alot!)
( ) French braided someone's hair
(X) gone skinny dipping in a pool
( ) been threatened to be kicked out of your house
( ) been kicked out your house
(X) have had a fantasy over someone you love as a good friend
( )sun tanned naked
(X) ran naked in the rain

Now, you...

The Infinity Condo

Check out this new condo here.
If you are interested to learn more you may get in touch with by posting a comment here.

No Smoking

No Smoking
Originally uploaded by AyanD.

Just to show how crazy we are! Hehehe! Smoking on a No Smoking Area.

Happy Valentines

Got an email today from a co-worker. I just feel so sorry for these guys cause people can't seem to stop talking about them.

Attached in the email is a message:

" The image attached has been a source of inspiration and hope to everyone who was in love, who is still in love, and who plans to be in love. This only shows that love is and will always be proof that there is something far greater than what we humans would ever truly understand.. . = ) This is the power of holding hands... "

Technorati Profile

Ayan in different angles

Ayan's Different Angles
Originally uploaded by AyanD.

Just playing around with the net cam!